I often get approached by men who say something along the lines of: “I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m scared I won’t be a good dad. What do I do?”
If this is you it may help to know that you’re not alone man. Dad’s all around the world experience this. In fact the unspoken question on most men’s hearts is, “Do I have what it takes?”, not just as a father but in life in general. The truth is, yes you do have what it takes! You absolutely can be a great dad.
Here are five simple tips and truths to help you overcome the imposter syndrome and believe in yourself as a father:
1. Know that your kids are all in.
There is no-one in the world that wants a good relationship with you more than your children. They want this more than anything – even if they are not aware of it and don’t know how to express it. This is a great foundation to work from in building a beautiful relationship with them that will last a lifetime.
2. Be inspired and motivated by the fact that you are the most important man in your children’s lives.
You are your son’s first hero and your daughter’s first romance. What an awesome privilege! And rather than being a scary responsibility see it as the greatest motivation to be your best for them, because you have it in you to be exactly the father they need.
3. Ask for directions!
Kids don’t come with a manual. As men we don’t generally like asking for help but in this most important role it’s foolish not to. Find mentors and peers who are in the same position as you and talk to them. Get educated, watch youtube clips, read articles, join groups, ask questions. There is no such thing as a stupid question but
there are a lot of people who are stupid because they never ask questions and there are many men who are lost because they never ask for directions.
4. Work on yourself as a man. You are your greatest fathering tool.
You cannot impart to them what you don’t have in you to impart and chances are good that you will impart to them in some way what you do have inside. Again don’t let this scare you, let it inspire you to be and become the best version of yourself.
5. It’s okay to screw up, we all do.
There is no way that you can or will be a perfect father but there are millions of ways you can be a good father and the fact that you are asking this question shows that you want to be a good father and have every intention of becoming one. Keep doing the best you know how. Keep growing as a man and a father and you will get it right.
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